|January 15, 2013||Posted by Photo GearHead under Miscellaneous|
In my many years spent immersed in the various interests and avenues of photography, I’ve encountered many different types and styles of photographic arts — and even more different types and styles of photographer. I’ve tried my hand, at one time or another, at most of them. Do you know what I’ve never done, though? I’ve never done video game photography. I’ve done fashion photography, landscape photography, sports photography, fine art photography, portrait photography, still-life, food, boudoir, product photography, and on, and on, and on. At some point in my life, I’ve spent some amount of time taking photographs that would fall into the category of each of those types of photography mentioned. But, I’ve never — not once — ever done video game photography.
Do you want to know why? I’ll tell you why: Because I don’t know what in the heck video game photography actually is!
But! Let me tell you, there’s an awful lot of people out there talking about it! Netspeak.Org lists well over TWO MILLION instances for the phrase “video gaming photography” on appearing the web. So, I’m completely puzzled:
WHAT IS VIDEO GAME PHOTOGRAPHY?
Like I mentioned before, I’ve never done video game photography. Not once! I had never even heard of it before today. I’m certain that I’ve never “done” it. …except… oh, wait… There was this one time back in 1981, or thereabouts, when, while at home alone, and having achieved a remarkable high-score playing Asteroids on my old and trusty Atari 2600, I reached for the family Kodak (That’s it! EXACTLY it! That was our family camera for AGES! The camera I grew up on!) in order to take a shot of the screen — lest nobody believe my video game awesome-juice. (Quick photography tip from a lesson learned: The video display of an Atari 2600 will not expose properly on a photograph taken with a Kodak Instamatic X-15. You’ll end up with a stupid picture of your television set that will look exactly like it has been switched off, and people will ask you why you took a stupid picture of your television set while it was switched off.)
So, is THAT video game photography? Does that count? Have I, in fact, actually done video game photography too?
I really hope you didn’t come to this blog post hoping to discover for yourself what video game photography is; thinking that I’d have all the answers and lay it all out here for you. Because, that’s not going to happen. I want YOU to tell ME what video game photography is. I want to know if I’m missing out on something! Why are more than two million people typing the phrase “video gaming photography” into their computers and posting it on the Internet? WHY? I feel like the poor sap sitting at the bar during the bathroom scene in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:
“With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever — always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts were getting incredible kicks from things he’ll never know.” ~ Hunter S. Thompson
Are people getting incredible kicks from photographing first person shooters, or something? Do the people who take these photographs wear red woolen shirts? These are the questions that are now keeping me awake at night.
This has become a terrible mystery to be sure. Of course, the first thing I did was to hit up Google. But, entering “video gaming photography”, turns up nothing useful. The first page listed brings up a sparse “singles” sort of ad from some young and forlorn looking girl seeking companionship, who lists among her interests “…video gaming, photography…”, the next two results lead to broken, 404 pages, the third returns “video gaming pornography”, and it pretty much goes on like that. It has become a mystery — a mystery to be sure. In fact, I would go even further. I would say that it is a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, surrounded by soft, gooey caramel. …Wait! What was that about video gaming pornography?
Any-hoo, allow me to revise that first big, bold heading I put up near the top of this article:
What IN THE HELL is Video Game Photography???
Seriously! Someone has got to help me out here. It is now closing in on two o’clock in the morning as I write this. I’m running out of cigarettes, and there’s about two more shots of bourbon — max– left in the bottom of my last bottle of JB. I need sleep, People!
So, speak up! It’s high time you video gaming photographers shared what you know! The jig is up! You can protect the secrecy of your dark craft no longer! We’re on to you, my friends. We know you’re out there, snapping away at your Call of Duty and your Far Cry 3 screens. (BOOOM! Head-shot! Did you use an f/8 to get that shot? I used to be a video game photographer… then I took a mono-pod to the knee…) You can’t stay hidden forever. Sooner or later, one of your own kind will turn on you, and they’ll rat you out and give up all of your sinister, dirty secrets.
So, make things easier on yourself! Come clean and let us all in on this video game photography whats-it-hoosle that you nutty kids, with your kooky Beatles haircuts and your crazy “ya-ya-ya” music are getting your kicks from! We want to know EXACTLY why there are well over two million instances of the phrase “video gaming photography” to be found on the Internet!
And, by the way, if you found this article interesting and would like to know more about the writer of such a fine piece of work: I’m an average sort of Joe — a dandy kind of fella, with a “hip-ho” attitude and a jolly “how’s your Uncle!” sort of way about him. I’ve had a serious love/hate relationship with all sorts of photography for more than twenty years now. And, my interests include: My ever growing, and exceedingly unruly, lint collection, stealing packets of ketchup from family eateries, video gaming, photography, the third toe in from the end on my right foot, and many other fine and interesting things, stuff, curiosities, and goings on. And, if you’d like, I would appreciate it if you could see fit to immediately send me a lot of money.